Harley Quinn 1
by Napier5000
Summary: Classic Harley Quinn and BTAS Joker, and how they deal with Arkham's experimental therapeutic procedures.


Harleen Quinzel snaked her way out of Batman's grasp, her gum popping as soon as she kicked the handcuffs to a distant curb. Binoculars shook a few stories up, as Mr. J could not control his laughter. His trench coat squeaked as he hurried to the next rooftop; As Harley was heading home. He made it to the front door first, but Harley was fast. She jumped in front of him, lightly spraining his wrist as he twisted away in surprise. "Oi, Mr. J, I'm flattered. As of late you've been keeping tabs on me. What're you trying to do, write my biography?" The Joker was off his guard, and wished she hadn't touched his wrist so he could think. "Do you want me back in the Ha-Hacienda? Last I knew, there was a misplaced lack of trust.". Joker closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "Just come in already." He mumbled opening the door, turning on a light.

He waited in the middle of the living room, watching her go over her options. "The door isn't going to close itself you know!" He snarled, flopping onto the couch. Harley delicately stepped in, light illuminating her gymnast frame. Her mask was off and she was putting her hair into a bun. "What about my babies? Are they fed?" She stopped to contemplate, "Not missing any legs are they?" She said, a bit of anger bubbling in her eyes. "I haven't touched them…." He was rubbing his forehead again. "What's wrong with ya? No comeback? No joke?" Harley put her hands on her hips, "You lose a game of poker to old Pengy?". She sat next to him, her heels accidentally brushing past his spats, which annoyed him to tears. She hadn't sat with him for ages. "I…." he shifted so he was farther down the couch. "I just got out of Arkham…. They've started electrotherapy. They thought I'd be a good guinea pig for their new contraption! HA!" He stopped mid-laugh to rub the back of his head, "I can't even laugh straight…." He murmured at the couch. Harley lifted her legs off the couch, and reached her hands towards her toes. "I'll talk to Bats.". Joker looked up in surprise. "You've barely sat down and - OW!". He'd moved his head the wrong way, "And….and come up with a plan.". Harley smiled a little. "If I don't talk to him soon, he'll think you're faking."

"Doctor's orders, ha ha!" Joker held his head in his hands.

Harley was half way out of the house, when Joker growled "And shut the door when going out will ya?". She noticed a low huskiness to his voice. 'Interesting, old aggravated self comes back in waves…..I've got to get him meds before he tears up the apartment…. Out of boredom.". The Joker, still in the same position in the living room, cackled, though it caused him pain, "Welcome home, Harl.".

Harley flipped from rooftop to rooftop until she reached a half crumbled warehouse; the OLD hideout. She heard a dog bark a few blocks away, but she knew it wasn't the hyenas she was searching for. The bags of meat she carried crinkled in the wind as she cautiously approached what would hopefully be her babies' den. She breathed out, and nervously called for them. A happy snort and a bark made their way towards her. "BABIES!" she yelled, collapsing in relief while petting them. They tore into the meat, but then they scampered around, as if begging her to go further into the hideout. She followed with her popgun at the ready.

What she saw made her gasp. She dropped her weapon, moving closer to the disheveled form in the middle of the room. There before her was a handmade life-sized batsuit chew toy, made specifically for her babies. A note was tacked to the head, "A rat with wings, for our rats with legs!." - J. "Oh, Mr. J!" she squealed hugging the hyenas. Once her joy subsided, she closed her eyes trying to refocus her brain so she could think critically. "If I got him meds...Will he still be like this?" She looked over at the batsuit. Her babies had broken the "chest" open, and there they found a hidden meaty treat. "Maybe...Once in a while.". She got up dusting her suit. "I'll see you soon, babies!". She ran off towards the Bat Signal.

Continued in Harley Quinn #2...


End file.
